This is Harold. Not his real name, which you will never know.

Calling him a Wordsmith is like calling Frank Lloyd Wright an Architect. Yes, technically the label is correct. But the labels do not do justice to the level of creativity and unique approach each has taken to their passion. Rarely have we heard someone use so many words in so many different ways, oftentimes bearing no context to their stated meaning. He is truly a master swordsman of verbal sparring; a veritable Michael Tyson of mixed metaphors and droll non sequiturs. He is an eagle in the henhouse, Teddy Roosevelt stalking wild meese*, the cool Red Baron of the English language, slaughtering convention and grammar like Genghis in Normandy.

We are grooming him to someday become a Very Long associate. His skills and occasional competence will suit us well. We are fans.

RELATIONSHIP TO VLM: brother of the President