I stare down the strapping, husky-hip polyglot. James Edward Long. My little brother, soon to become "Doctor," in the casual Ph.D sense. Recently returned from a Middle East sojourn. He perspires and requests air conditioning. I do not acquiesce. I begin.

What was the purpose of your trip to Jordan?
The purpose of the trip was to act as a strategic consultant for the Jordanian government. More specifically, the Investment Promotion Agency for the country of Jordan.

It was a program financed by the USAID - the US Agency for International Development. They gave Jordan a grant to help bring advisors from the US. Thirty US business school students acted as advisors to the Jordanian government and private corporations.

Basically, the grant pays for a certain number of Jordanian students to come to the US and study business, and also for 30 US MBA students to come to Jordan and work as economic consultants.

What was your your most unexpected discovery - about the people, food, culture, etc.?
It's at a point where the old and the new have not reconciled themselves, so you have two very different worldviews coexisting in the same city, but you have them both together. Extreme wealth and poverty. The separation between wealth and poverty is very stark, but very integrated throughout the social hierarchy, which makes it hard to clearly delineate where the wealth ends and the poverty begins. At the same time, while the rich and poor often work and interact with one another very closely, there are distinct prejudices between the two, and there are widely-divergent attitudes depending on your social class or economic standing.

The stage of development they are at is very unique and interesting. They are trying to change a worldview that has been prevalent for thousands of years. Acceptance of new technologies and social developments, toleration of new religions...and grow their economy into a point of sustainable success, while at the same time keeping their core culture. Adapting, rather than changing.

It was very surprising to see a region plagued by strife and oppression and warfare and conflict...Jordan is kind of an oasis of calm, while being surrounded on all sides by conflict. It's relatively peaceful and secure, no recent government overthrows, no terrorist activity within. They've been shielded from most of the strife in the surrounding regions, largely due to strong leadership (they are a constitutional monarchy). For example, Parliament has free elections, but the King still has absolute authority to overturn any decision he so desires. but he doesn't typically exercise that. Pretty interesting system. The Constitution is a mix of Islamic law and French Napoleonic code.

The current king's father, King Hussein, a very good leader, is who helped the country start the road to economic growth and friendly relations with the US and other countries in the region. His wife, the beloved Queen Noor, is still alive. She is actually an American. She had Jordanian ancestry, but grew up in the US and had US citizenship. In fact, she was a Pan Am airline stewardess for the good King’s flight when he first met her. I guess she must have given him a couple extra refreshments or something. Not bad…

King Abdullah met his wife, Queen Rania, in a club. And she is so hot. I was unfortunately unable to meet her, but the club they met in is owned by Bashar's friend, so we got to visit and we didn't have to pay for anything. Which was neat.

Do you plan to live there permanently?
No. I do not envision myself living there permanently. I am open to new ideas and opportunities. At this point it is not part of my long-term vision. I plan on doing a lot of work in that area. But my home base will not be there, I imagine.

Who was your best friend over there?
Would it be wrong of me to say the Prime Minister?

Probably my supervisor, whose name is Bashar. He holds a Ph.D in Economics from a school in England, and whose Doctoral Thesis is ranked as one of the top to come out of England. Pretty brilliant guy. Single, can't wait to find a Brazilian wife, although he has never been to Brazil.

Did you like the people, or not?
I liked many of the people I came in contact with. Some were difficult to connect with and get to know. But for the most part people were warm, hospitable, and generous. I connected especially with people who, may have been lower on the economic foodchain. Such as the office secretary, my driver, and the office boy. They brought me falafels every day.

My driver's name was Jamal. Awesome dude. Think he may have been a bookie. The office boy, which was his actual title, was 50 years old and wore pinstripe suits.

Were you able to successfully turn the country's economy around, like 360 degrees?
I'd say pretty dang close to it. They haven't quite caught up to the US GDP, but I think a few years and they'll be rivaling China, as long as they implement my policies, exactly as I proposed them

What was the plane trip like, and what was your flight attendant's name, oh, and did you get to sit up front with the pilot, and was the co-pilot nice, and what did you drink on the plane, what did you read, and did you have any interesting romantic experiences en route?
My flight was horrible. I first missed my flight from Portland to Chicago. For some reason someone at Jordanian Royal Airlines had voided my ticket and they never told me why. When I finally got on, my flight attendant's name was...I'm trying to remember. I think I just gave her a number. Number 27, I think. Of course I rode with the pilot for a while. He asked me to take over the controls for him for a bit, so I did. When I got to Jordan, my bags had not arrived, which was unfortunate.

On the flight, I had a lot of water and some Diet Coke. And my bags took almost a week to arrive, so I had to buy new clothes.

How much did you buy over there, like animals or weapons or perfume?
Comparatively speaking to other trips, not much. A suit, some clothes so I could work. I did go to Starbucks there once. Got a strawberry cream frappucino. No, it was caramel. And while I drank that I finished an Eric Van Lustbader book called The Miko.

I purchased some stuff at the Dead Sea. Like lotion. Some keffiyahs, which are the traditional Arab kerchiefs worn as headdresses. The traditional colour worn by Palestinians is red. It was black, but then it became red when Arafat wore it, which he did not realize at the time that it was the colour worn by British soldiers during the occupation. It's meant to block out the sun when it's hot and keep you warm when it's cold in the desert. I tried to bring a camel home, but unfortunately she couldn’t survive the unpressurized cargo hold of the aircraft I snuck her onto. Glenys will be missed…

Also, I bought an antique Bedouin scimitar. I like to think that it was extracted from the carcass of a Bedouin warrior post-battle by Alexander himself after an epic battle, complete with elephants, camels, and Cracker Jacks.

Have you ever visited Morocco? I have not.
I have not had the pleasure yet. Economically, they're kind of a case study of where Jordan would like to be.

What was your very favourite thing about Jordan, that most people would not guess...what would be surprising?
A little bakery called Paradise Bakery. Owned by these Muslim dudes. Every day I would go there and practice my Arabic. Make a complete fool of myself. Usually we'd get things translated wrong. Like, I'd order falafel, and they'd give me ten. but it still only cost about a buck-twenty-five.

The coolest thing was my visit to a Palestinian refugee camp. I believe we were the first Americans to be allowed in. speaking with the people. It was heavily guarded because it was during the bombings on the Gaza Strip on the other side. But these people had their land stripped away from them, going from wealth and privilege to living in a 10x10 foot room. But they were all very nice. The US has not been supportive of their cause whatsoever. It would have been very easy for them to take the US non-involvement and inaction in support of them and use that as a reason to treat us poorly. But they didn't.

Also, my direct boss, Dr. Maen (pronounced “man”), was an incredibly paranoid person, so he had hidden cameras and microphones placed around the office, so that he could monitor everything that goes on, whether he was in his office or on the road. That sucked, actually. However, he also insisted on being referred to as “Your Excellency” to his face and “His Excellency” when people talked about him when he wasn’t around (and would monitor office conversations frequently to discourage infraction of this rule or disparaging comments about himself or the King). I decided to simply refer to him as “Bob”, because it was easier for me to remember. Also, I’d sometimes clandestinely search for hidden cameras and microphones, then make references to the Queen’s beauty and my appreciation for her as close as possible to them to ensure that he could hear me. The funny thing is, he seemed to give me more deference than the other team members. Most likely, I intimidated him.

What do you want out of life?
Money. Power. Respect. Sex appeal. To reach the unprecedented, unimagined pinnacle of success. Love. Joy.

Oh, and I want to achieve the goals I've set and have a family at some point and live to my fullest potential.

I want to be President of the United States.

I would also like to be a modestly-successful musician. Like, somewhere between The Beatles and William Shatner.

Thank you, James. I wish you the best of luck and hope that your success is great, but not quite enough to eclipse that of your oldest brother.